There is a lot to consider when thinking about separation. Most important is how the new arrangements will affect your children. You are likely to be feeling strong emotions and it may be hard to not be swayed by these. A good place to start thinking about this is the CAFCASS website. It gives you the chance to think through the practical arrangements you’ll need to make, and will help you stay focussed on making decisions in the best interests of your children.
The CAFCASS website has different online tools to help you during and after your separation and in making arrangements for your children. Their Parenting Plan, which both parents can use, and advice about mediation options are designed to help separating parents come to agreements without needing to use the court system. It also has advice on how to reassure your children, who are likely to be feeling upset and anxious, and take some time to really listen to them about what they need.
It is almost always in a child’s best interest to maintain contact with both parents. It is important that you do not seek to punish your ex-partner by denying them contact with their children, unless of course there are concerns that the children would not be safe.
If you are concerned that your children are not safe with your ex-partner or other family member, it is your responsibility to take protective action. This may include:
If you are considering leaving a relationship due to domestic abuse first look at the section on this website with specialist advice and support
You should contact Front Door for Families if you are concerned that your child’s safety is at risk and you are unable to protect them or you need additional support or advice.
You can use the Front Door For Families online form or by email at FrontDoorforFamilies@brighton-hove.gov.uk or phone on 01273 290400
Brighton & Hove City Council's Family Information Service have produced a Family Breakdown Factsheet. This gives parents an overview of the local and national support available when they are thinking about separating. It covers legal advice, mediation options, money matters and domestic abuse.
If you are unable to view the factsheet online and would like a copy posted to you, contact Family Hubs on 01273 293545 or email FamilyHubs@brighton-hove.gov.uk with your name and address.
The Getting On Better cards for separated parents can help you avoid common behaviours which can damage children during separation. You can view the Getting on Better cards online or request physical copies by sending an email to FamilyHubs@brighton-hove.gov.uk.
The separated parents section of this website also has some courses you would be eligible to book onto.