This card shows some common things people do in an argument.

When you can recognise these, you can change the way your arguments play out.

Two people discussing the things they do in an argument: "I make the other person feel bad", "I walk off", "I give as good as I get", "I get sarcastic", "I misread", "I get louder and throw things", "I don't listen", "I use putdowns", "I speak harshly".

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Which of these do you do?

Woman having an argument


  • Bottle things up and then have a rant
  • Get overwhelmed by your feelings
  • Sulk or give the silent treatment


Think about a recent argument you had with your partner.

What did you do?

Man having an argument

  • How do you think that made your partner feel?
  • What did your partner do in response?
  • How did that make you feel?
  • If you have children, how do you think this made them feel?


When you are stressed or angry, it’s harder to stay calm and in control. But learning to recognise your own behaviour can help you to stop future arguments from getting out of hand.

This video explains the card in more detail

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