Support for victims of stalking and harassment

Report stalking and harassment to the police 

About stalking and harassment

There are different types of stalking. Incidents can seem small and low-level at first. 

Stalking is behaviour that is fixated, unwanted and repeated causing fear, harassment or anxiety.

It can be caused by:

• an ex-intimate partner
• a family member
• a stranger
• acquaintances
• someone in the workplace.

Some stalkers are colleagues or clients. Others can come from all walks of life. Their motivations vary.

"For a very long time, I thought it was in my head.  I would see him, often on his bike, in really obscure places, at first, I thought it was a coincidence, but he was always there, he put a tracker in my car…in one year I had over 300 letters sent to my address...he was absolutely obsessed. It changes you, makes you scared and paranoid…always looking over your shoulder…"

If you or someone you know is experiencing stalking or cyberstalking, you must get help and take it seriously. Always prioritise safety. Trust your instincts.

Common stalking and cyberstalking behaviours

Unwanted attention

This is sending frequent, unsolicited messages, letters, or gifts whether or not they are threatening or intimidating.

Surveillance

This is consistent, covert observation, either online or offline. This may include frequently driving by the victim’s home or workplace.

Gathering information

This is using online databases, social networks, or mutual acquaintances to learn more about the victim.

Spreading false information

Spreading lies or rumours about the victim online or in person.

Intimidation and manipulation

This is using threats or blackmail, often to gain more control or further terrorize the victim.

Invasion of privacy

This is unauthorised access to personal emails, phone records, or online accounts.

Creating false identities

This is setting up fake profiles or websites to harass the victim or spread misinformation.

Direct or implied threats

This is where there are indications of potential harm to the victim or their loved ones. 

How stalking can affect you

The effects of stalking on victims is wide ranging. 

It can include:  

1. Physical effects, such as: 
   • sleep disturbances
   • weight fluctuations
   • other health problems
2. Emotional effects, such as:
   • anxiety
   • depression
   • fear
   • feelings of vulnerability
3. Social effects, such as: 
   • isolation from friends and family
   • changes in social habits
4. Economic effects, such as: 
   • loss of job or relocation expenses as an attempt to escape the stalker

Definitions

Stalking became a criminal offence on the 25 November 2012. Stalking has no single definition in legislation, which has contributed to low number of recorded crimes and prosecutions.

However, the national stalking consortium has adopted a working definition of stalking as:

“a pattern of fixated and obsessive behaviour, which is unwanted, repeated, persistent and intrusive and causes fear of violence or engenders alarm and distress in the victim”.

The college of policing has adopted the acronym “FOUR” in an attempt to simplify and make the signs of stalking clearer.

Fixated: Does the behaviour indicate a disproportionate investment of time, effort and resources?

Obsessive: Does the behaviour suggest an unhealthy and persistent preoccupation with the victim(s)?

Unwanted: Does the victim report to you that the behaviour is not wanted?

Repeated: Is there a pattern of behaviour, meaning 2 or more incidents of unwanted contact whether or not they have been reported to the police?

Support advice for friends and family of stalking and cyberstalking victims 

Stalking and cyberstalking can be very distressing for victims. As someone close to a victim, you play a crucial role in offering support and understanding. 

Here are some things you can do: 

1. Understand stalking using FOUR 
2. Empathize and listen: Ensure the victim feels heard and understood. Listening without judgment can provide immense emotional relief to the victim. 
3. Avoid victim blaming: Always remember that no one asks or deserves to be stalked. It's never the victim's fault. 
4. Maintain privacy: Be cautious about sharing information about the victim, especially online. Cyberstalkers often use shared details against victims. 
5. Encourage documentation: Tell the victim to keep a record of all stalking incidents, including dates, times, locations, and nature of the behaviour. This can be crucial for legal action. 
6. Understand the digital world: Familiarise yourself with privacy settings on social media and other online platforms. Offer to help the victim set them up if necessary. 
7. Be observant: Monitor the well-being of the victim. Stalking can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. 
8. Support reporting: Encourage the victim to report to police or get help and support when they feel ready. Offer to go with them. 
9. Get professional help: Think about referring the victim for counselling or support from Veritas Justice. This organisation specialises in helping stalking victims in Sussex. 
10. Safety first: Develop a safety plan together with the victim. This might include changing daily routines, securing their home, or having an emergency contact. 
11. Stay informed and educated: Continue learning about stalking and cyberstalking. The more you know, the better you can support friends and family. 

Support services for victims of stalking and harassment