Plan your safety if you're living in an abusive relationship

Trust your instincts

If you are unsure, go with your instincts. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. You may feel alone and that no-one can help you, but many people experience abuse and there are many services that can provide support.

You can speak to a teacher, GP, work colleague or any other trusted professional. Speaking to someone about what you are going through can help you to feel less alone and can support you in understanding your options. 

Safe planning ideas  

Domestic abuse is never the fault of the person experiencing it and it is not their responsibility to stop it happening. 

However there are some practical things you can do if you feel worried for you or your family's safety.

You could:

• tell someone you trust about the situation
  • ask them to keep an eye on you
  • decide on a safe word or phrase you can use, or text to let them know you are in danger
  • agree what they would do in this situation - for example call the police
• plan what to do in an emergency
  • decide which room at home feels safest and which friends or family you can turn to
  • if you can’t leave the property try to block yourself in the safest room and call 999
  • keep copies of important documents, along with some emergency money, any medication, and a packed bag for emergencies in a safe place or with a trusted friend or family member
• talk to your children or other relatives about when to call 999, what to do and say and to give the address
• ask neighbours to call 999 if they hear a disturbance
• keep your phone close and fully charged - put important numbers on speed dial
• keep a date, time and item record of unwanted contact and how it made you feel - only do this if you have a safe place to store it
• if you are planning to leave, ask for help and support to consider how to do it in the safest way possible

Support services for victims of abuse, sexual violence, stalking and harassment

Find more information about domestic and sexual violence and abuse, stalking and harassment and violence against women and girls.